acrimonious serenity



various short poems about my first love


LOST AND FOUND i lost myself in our love
i wonder if you did too
and you’re left
finding pieces of yourself
you forgot you once had
it feels good to be found again


WHO AM I? sometimes i see parts of you
in me
fragments of the person you were
with me


GRIEVING GHOSTS one must live with one’s mistakes
echos of lapses of judgment and reason

it brings me comfort to know
that we will always be connected
through this

this solidarity of ghosts.

theses memories
and feelings
and thoughts
of what once was

an opaque figure walking beside us
with time, fading and trailing behind
we can always look back
and recall the frozen reflection
of who was once ours
who no longer exists

i grieve the person you were with me.

you are changing
and i thought i would be there
through it

it is simple
and inevitable
and painful.


CONDOLENCE this agony isn't from lost love
it's from the way we destroyed us
the brutality in our murder

and the disillusionment
that we could rise our dead relationship
from its sorrowful grave

i'm so glad we stopped
dragging our rotten body around
may we rest in peace.


ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT we put chains on each other
trying to keep us together forever
we had good intentions,i promise
loving and innocent

dependent and insecure
terrified of losing each other
so we held on for
too long
too hard


CUT OFF/FREE thank you
thank you
thank you
for having the strength
neither of us could muster
for making the choice
we were too afraid to make


AMBIGUOUS i am glad that it’s over
and
i wish we were meant to be

i don't know how to coexist with these feelings
but oh the human nature is ambiguous
and here i, i, I am living with them


INDISPUTABLE we were deeply in love
no one can take that away from us
nothing will ever make that untrue

we tried our best
no one can say we didn’t give it our all
nothing will make our effort less than everything


TANGIBLE SENSATION love eclipsed the reality
of our dissonance

it will take time to fully wake up
from this daze
this illusion of hope
brought on by love

i am not left wanting more
of what we did have


DIVINE INTERVENTION and despite it all
i am grateful i got to love you
and be loved by you
in this lifetime
a part of me
hopes we get the chance to meet
in every other lifetime
because
you are beautiful
even if
we couldn't be